The Bourne Stupidity

I was thinking about my trip and how Nancy mentioned a comparison to Odysseus and his trip back from the Trojan Wars. I think that may be fitting (would the Sirens be the red light district in Amsterdam?), but I'd also like to think of myself as Jason Bourne. I always wanted to be a spy in Europe, having my funds and directions deposited in a bank lockbox and sitting in cafes watching my target. The only problem would be that if I were ever caught and tortured, I'd squeal about as quickly as you could scratch a chalkboard or dangle the extra hair from a brush over my head ("okay okay!! I'll talk…you animals!!").

In preparation to become Bourne, I was researching where my trains would pass through in case I were ambushed and needed to know where to go. I was looking at my trip from Interlaken to Salzburg, and noticed that I'll be stopping in Vaduz, Liechtenstein!!! Needless to say, as I put exclamation points, I'm very excited about this. I'll have about 3 minutes in Liechtenstein, so I'll be getting off the train and doing something that I can talk about later. Maybe I'll 'lose' something there, like a pair of socks so I can tell people at a cocktail party, "hahaha, I laugh because that reminds me of this one time…oh, this was classic…I was in Liechtenstein and I lost a pair of socks!" You see, if people hear you've lost socks in places, they'll think you spent a lot of time there, certainly more than 3 minutes. If they ask what the country is like, you nod your head a little, looking off in the distance, and whisper, "Amazing." Finally, if they end up asking how long you were there, just say, "I spent a month there one night." A little ambiguous humor to break up the conversation. Yes, I know, I'm a poor man's Richard King.

Also, I booked an activity in Interlaken that I'm having some reservations about (that was an unintentional, yet brilliant pun if I do say so myself). It's called canyoning, and although I think it looks awesome, it is extremely dangerous. Now, I don't fear being mortally wounded, I just don't want it to happen this early in the trip, that'll be saved for my bovine friends in Iberia. Anyway, here's a video from YouTube showing what'll be done (skip the first minute of intro):



So I see the video and book the tour for like $150. There'll be only 4 of us, with I believe 2 guides, so it should be cool, but then I read this article:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/405497.stm

"The police said it would take "days or weeks" until all the victims were identified.
"Most of the fatalities suffered injuries to the head and the canyonists were all wearing identical protective gear - so dental records will have to be used for identification."

Dental records!?!? That's an aka for it wasn't pretty. At least with the bulls my funeral can still be an open casket, just not open shirt as I was originally planning. Anyways, I look forward to posting about it afterwards, and if not, I'm the one with the big underbite.